Another piece of fan fiction for your viewing pleasure :)

[ladyofavalon77]

Well after writing that piece on what Charles was thinking after the day's events I of course had to write one from Martha's POV.  This time I focused on how much he had hurt her and that the worst part wasn't his behavior at the airfield...it was the fact that he had shut her out.  This story contrasted with the other makes a real heart breaking series because each one doesn't realize what they have done and continue to believe the worst.  I love writing things like this!  Here's to more angst :)
 

BETRAYAL OF THE HEART

It seemed a lifetime since she had left the Presidential Retreat and secluded herself in this hotel room but in truth it had only been a little over 24 hours. Martha Logan had been running on adrenaline since her final confrontation with her husband at the airfield but now the events of the last few days were beginning to take their toll. A doctor had recommended some sleeping pills the day before which she had immediately refused. She had had enough of doctors and medications for two lifetimes. What she needed right now was a good night’s sleep. So after checking into the hotel alone, she had collapsed on the bed exhausted both emotionally and physically.

However, the refuge she sought was elusive as she tossed and turned all night, finding no comfort in the silence of her room or the absence of her Secret Service detail. Finally accepting that her restless mind would not let her find the sleep she so desperately sought, Martha slowly got out of bed and gazed out the window to her balcony. The sun was shining outside and she could hear the chirping of birds in the nearby trees. One small sparrow landed on the balcony railing and burst forth into song as he spied a female sparrow below. She smiled as the female flew up to meet him and after a brief greeting the two happily flew off together.

Two lovebirds, innocent of what the future held but content in each other’s company. It was what she and Charles had had when they first met. And now…there was nothing…nothing but broken promises and painful memories. As she made her way to the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead of her, Martha suddenly began to realize why she couldn’t sleep and why her mind would not let her rest. For the first time in twenty years, she was completely alone. There were no campaign advisors at her side, no children to comfort her, no Secret Service to protect her, and no husband to just be with her. She was on her own and the feeling of abandonment was overwhelming.

Seizing the few toiletry items she had set out the night before, Martha threw them at the bathroom mirror before slowly sinking to the floor in tears. How could he do this to her after everything they had been through? When others had said he was too weak to be a viable political candidate, she had fought for him. When he was plagued with indecision, she had guided him. When everyone else had questioned his ability to lead the country, she had believed in him. Why oh why did he not see that she would have helped him find another way? Any path than the one he had chosen to walk…alone and without her by his side.

As her crying subsided, Martha pulled at the wedding band on her hand that she had forgotten to remove the previous day. For a moment she just stared at this last connection to her husband and ran her fingers over the simple engraved script that read “You are the light of my life. Charles.” What a lie. Clenching the ring in her right hand, she threw it far away from her and heard it clatter on the tiled floor as she leaned her head against the strong, solid bathroom wall.

When had he stopped trusting her? When had she become just a burden instead of his closest confidant? She could still remember their time together on the campaign trail like it was yesterday. The sparkle in his eyes as they worked the crowd, the long nights of political strategy, and those quiet times when she would rest her head on his shoulder while he read the newspaper and she reviewed the latest polling data. Had it all been a careful façade and she truly did not know who her husband was?

No, she could not believe that. In her heart of hearts she knew he loved her but…his love was not the same as hers. Where she had trusted Charles completely, he had shut her out. Where she would have been by his side in his greatest time of need, he had abandoned her after seeing her come apart during her mental breakdown. And where she was ALWAYS completely honest with him, he chose to keep the truth from her and let her believe a lie. Slowly the tears began to fall again and she took comfort in the emotional release as she let all the pain and frustration of the past days flow out of her.

And as the tears dried and she slowly rose up from the floor to start the water for a long, hot shower, Martha began to realize that she had never really known her husband. They had shared the same bed but not the same love. They had shared the same political ideals but not the same moral ideals. Yes, there had been certain tender moments together but it was only now that she could see he had always kept a part of his heart closed off from her. For twenty years, she had been married to a complete stranger…someone she didn’t know at all.

Holding her head under the soothing drops of water, Martha closed her eyes and tried to let her mind think on other things. She had a new life ahead of her and did not know where to begin. The connections she had made while on the campaign trail and in political office were still there. She could even decide to leave politics all together if she so wished. It was all a matter of choice. As she turned the water off and reached for her terry cloth bathrobe, a smile came to her face as she thought of the one man who was as different from her husband as night and day. If there were truly opposites in this world, then she had found the antithesis of her husband in Agent Aaron Pierce.

While drying her hair she reflected back on the few moments they had shared together. Funny how some couples require years to get to know each other while others require only a few moments. With Charles, she had shared a comfortable friendship that had slowly grown more dear over time. But with Aaron, there was a spark, an instant attraction, an uncanny connection she could not explain. If she had to describe it, she would have to say it was magic. And it never ceased to make her smile because of how much it sounded like a cliché but also how true it was.

Someone could ask her what the first thing she knew about Charles and she would immediately talk about his politics and plans for the future but ask her about Aaron and she would have a completely different reaction. Instead of policy and personality, she could tell you in detail the exact way the light hit his blue eyes when he looked at her as if she was the only woman in the room. Or how his brow furrowed in concern when she told him something that was bothering her. She had never shared this type of chemistry with anyone before, not even Charles.

What she loved most about Aaron was that she knew from the moment he spoke her name that he would be there for her. She no longer had to be the strong one in the relationship. He had enough strength to carry them both and that was something completely endearing and liberating. Here was a man of his word who would be completely honest with her no matter what and, most importantly, be there for her when she needed him most. This was someone she could trust to keep her heart safe no matter what problems their relationship encountered.

Putting the last touches on her makeup, Martha walked back into the bedroom to finish getting dressed. For a moment, she looked at the phone on the nightstand and debated with herself over making a certain phone call…a phone call that could change everything. And as she went over to the nightstand and picked up the phone with one hand, Martha debated the pros and cons in her head and reluctantly came to the conclusion that Aaron had long ago accepted. It was too soon. The scars from her first relationship were still a long way from healing and she was unsure she was ready to begin a second. Putting the phone back in its cradle, the former First Lady of the United States turned around and resumed getting ready for the day’s events. She would forge a new path in her life ahead but she would walk this path alone.

You have to understand...I never meant to hurt you...I never thought this would happen...