ladyofavalon77 | And I have a headache... (Reply)

However it's my own fault...I couldn't find the CD with all my 24 graphics saved on it so had to go and resave all the icons still on display at the 24 icon contest journal. They are really some nice pieces there and I love how

chiroho puts a table at the end of each contest showing who made which one. Helps SO MUCH in giving proper credit! That reminds me! I need to enter some...though I don't stand a chance against such wonderful artists who participate. At any rate, I logged off early because after saving all those icons, my hand was starting to slip when I tried to right click and was hitting email pic instead of save pic. You KNOW it's time for a break at that time!

Today was my half day so it was pretty nice to sleep in. Work wasn't that difficult either...if my stats stay within guidelines, I'll try to pass year because then I'd be eligible for a pension plan! I could get a small amount each month because I worked five years at PFCU. That's pretty darn nice! However, if the stats aren't looking good, I'm out of here. I detest banking anyway! There was nothing on TV to watch tonight...nothing interesting anyway but I did have some movies from Blockbuster so I ended up watching Rent.

Now I knew there some things in the movie I wouldn't like because it's about the bohemian lifestyle and the freedom of expression and love, etc. However, I DIDN'T know that 2 out of the 3 couples would be gay. Even the heterosexual couple wasn't that great because the girl was addicted to drugs and worked at sex club. I'm just glad I never tried to see it on Broadway. The duets were quite amazing though and the one dance the crossdresser did was pretty amusing but the lyrics and mannerisms grated on my nerves immensely so it wasn't my type of movie. Idina Menzel and her lesbian partner were GREAT singers and wonderful at playing their parts...they immediately grabbed your attention and kept you transfixed during their one number together. I also liked the Tango number because of ballroom dancing.

Now here's the completely, totally, unbelievably awesome...I had been kind of watching this movie in a blah kind of manner because of all these artists talking about free love and it's just not romantic. But then...then something happened...the guy in the heterosexual relationship finally finds the girl he has loved all along but did not realize until she was gone. She looks like she's about to die and he starts singing the song he has finally written. And you know what I do? I start crying! I mean the way he looked into her eyes and the way the camera caught it you could just see he loved her...there was a lightening of the face, a warm glow about the eyes, and a slight smile that said, "I love you...and nothing is going to hurt you tonight." *happy sigh* It was the most beautiful, most romantic moment I've ever seen in a movie...and it came out of a film like Rent! Go Figure!! I hope I find a guy that looks at me in the same way! A guy that lights up when I enter a room...a guy who lets me run at him as I throw myself into his arms and whisper, "Hello, sweetheart...did you miss me?"...someone who actually enjoys my endless babbling instead of wanting me to shut up...someone who loves me for me. Until that someone comes along, I will be happy to wait...however long it takes...because the wait is well worth it!

Now on to something less personal but hopefully just as deep. Someone on LJ was making a fanvid to commemorate the passing of Curtis but what really got me was the song they used and now I found a new group I love because their lyrics talk alot about loving someone but can't having them or saying goodbye. What better way to describe the Martha/Charles relationship so here is one entitled "Goodbye" which is what Charles is thinking in Season Six as he knows he can never be with Martha again...

"Goodbye" by Air Supply

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye