You make your own luck!
Feb. 28th, 2007 11:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladyofavalon77I have been trying to keep up with the birthdays but have failed miserably so here is a belated, very much heartfelt birthday post for
alex_c_potter(2/14), schusy(2/24), and kools_pad(2/25) for February. I apologize for missing the exact day but promise to be better if you forgive me *looks contrite* Hope you have the best year yet!The storyline that is still intriguing involves Rob Hawkins. An old coworker of his shows up and they keep talking about how they think they know who is behind it all and it sounds like a government conspiracy to blow up its own citizens. If that's the case, this whole show just got a whole lot more interesting. He thinks she is a friend to be trusted but the wife knows better and he should have listened to her as we find out in the end that she's working WITH "the old man" and not against him. Last text message: "We'll use his family against him" And what in the world is this "package"?
So back on the Island...
Teaching Jin English was great!! He wanted to learn, just not from his wife hehe. And then when he brought her a flower!! Awww that was the best moment and it was in slow motion too. I received my "tender moment" fix for the week :D I didn't much like the Hurley flashback scenes though it was nice to see some back story. Favorite moment was them charging down the hill in a dead vehicle hoping it would rev up and looking like they would crash into the rocks. Charlie's willingness to stare death in the face was quite impressive too, especially after hearing that prophecy from Desmond. I hope he doesn't die but if he does I hope he goes out in a big way :)
So time for another chapter of "If I Should Lose You..." And I think this one is my favorite. Charles thinks Martha is dead and he finally starts seeing the light because of the horrific impact of that revelation. There is a little part where he imagines her into existence by his side but I think it's called for since he's grieving and believes he is the one responsible for her death. I just love all the issues it tackles while also moving toward redemption. Though usually if I like it, most people hate it *Giggles* So read at your own peril :D
All he could do was stare at the phone in his hands and pray it would ring. Just give him another chance and he would make it right. He couldn’t lose her…not again. Once had been bad enough…but twice…twice would be more than he could take. Despite their constant arguments…despite her wild mood swings…despite everything that had come their way…he had never doubted his love for Martha. She was his better half…the one who knew him better than anyone else…the one who believed in him when no one else would. And he had let her down…no, not just let her down…he needed to face the fact that he had let her…die.
Martha…I can’t do this…I can’t go on without you…
And as if summoned out of thin air, she was there beside him once more. That coy smile playing across her lips as she leaned in close and placed her hand on his shoulder in a way that dispelled all his fears and reassured him that everything was going to be fine. He knew she was just a figment of his imagination but he allowed the fantasy to continue, not wanting to break the spell and lose his last chance to say goodbye. Feeling sorry for yourself again, Charles? Shame on you. Where is the man who wouldn’t let me go till I said yes? Where is the man who had a dream to become President of the United States? Where is the man I love?
The man you love is the one responsible for your death.
Did you kill me yourself?
No…but I was the one who provoked the terrorists into hurting you. I…wanted to be a stronger president. I thought I could force their hand but…they called my bluff. Now I’ve lost you forever…
You’ll never lose me, Charles…no matter what happens…no matter what decision you make…I’ll always be here.
How can I believe what you say? You’re not real…just a figment of my imagination.
I’m real enough for you to dream me into existence. Obviously some part of you wants me here and I won’t leave until you’re ready to let me go.
I want to say goodbye…I want to let go, Marty…but I don’t know if I can. When I made the decision to not call back the motorcade, I thought I would be able to live with the consequences, telling myself that I had sacrificed one life so that thousands more could live. But the truth is…that one life was more precious to me than I ever thought possible. If I had to make that decision again…I would have made a different choice.
And I would have been disappointed that the man I love would sacrifice the good of the country for my own well being.
Martha…how can you say that? How can anything be more important than my responsibility to you as your husband?
Charles, I love you and you know that…but you need to understand something else as well. When you took the presidential oath of office, you made a promise to put the well being of the country above everything else…including our marriage. There will be times when you have to decide which is more important and no answer will be the right answer because whatever you choose you’ll be letting one of us down. However, I trust you to make the right decision and perform your duty as my president before you fulfill your obligations as my husband.
Your trust is misplaced I fear. I don’t have your amazing courage, Marty. I never have. When I think of a future without you…all I see is darkness and despair. An uncertain path that leads to nowhere. A road I must walk alone because of choices that I made. You should never have said yes, Martha. You should never have said yes…
And where would I be now if I had said no? Living in the safety of the suburbs with a husband who is perfectly boring? Charles, you showed me the world and gave me the opportunity to make a difference in more ways than I thought possible. We’ve had our disagreements ,we’ve had our fights, and our marriage is far from perfect but it’s ours and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Now it’s time to get back to work, Mr. President. This pity party is officially over.
I didn’t have time to say good bye.
You already have…you just haven’t realized it yet.
“Martha?” he called out when he realized she had finally left him alone. The whole conversation had never taken place except in his mind. What did that say about his psychological well being? Shaking his head and trying to refocus his thoughts, Logan slowly put down the phone he had been holding on to so tightly. With great effort, he released his grip and sat back in his study chair, coming to terms with something he had been trying to deny for the last few hours. He had lost her. That was the simple, unadorned truth and there was nothing he could say or do to bring her back.
However, he would not allow this personal loss to cripple him. If fate had decided to deal him a losing hand, then he would fight back with everything he had in him. By taking her from his life, he had been stripped of the last thing that mattered most. Now all that remained was a man who had nothing left to lose…a man who had faced his greatest fear and had survived to live another day. Clenching his hand into a fist, Charles Logan renewed his determination to be the man his wife hoped he could be…the President his wife believed he would be.
I won’t let you down, Martha. I promise.
Reaching for the telephone on his desk, Logan made a call to Mike Novick. It was time to start drafting his statement to the press. They had already caught wind of the motorcade attack and rumors were flying everywhere about whether she had perished with the Suvarovs or had been rescued by Secret Service. He needed to take control of the situation and he would start.
Taking a pen out of his desk drawer, Logan started to write out the speech he would give to the press, carefully selecting what words he would use before bringing the pen down to the paper. Only to find his hand frozen in place before he had written a single word. No…she deserved better than this. Picking up the pen once more, he stared at it for a moment before deliberately putting it back where he found it and sitting back in his chair with a small smile.
The American people deserve the truth, Charles…
She had told him this earlier in the day and he had ignored her but now was his chance to make this right. And if he was going to reveal the truth…the whole truth…then it couldn’t be scripted or written out beforehand. There was only way he could convey what he was feeling…what she had meant to him…and that was to speak from the heart.
“You needed me, Mr. President?” Mike Novick’s familiar voice inquired from the open door, waiting for permission to enter.
“Yes, Mike, please come in. We need to decide how we’re going to handle the attack on the motorcade. I want to plan a briefing with the press in one hour and I want to get in contact with the Attorney General. There’s something he needs to know.”
“Excuse me, sir…the Attorney General?”
“Yes, Mike, but only after the press conference. Everything will become clear at that time. I just need you to trust me.”
“Yes, sir,” the political advisor of five years replied but was clearly puzzled as he went to make arrangements with the press corps.
This one’s for you, Marty…
I would have loved to see Gregory Itzin act out a scene like this *blissful sigh*
You think you're so smart but what you don't realize is that I'm ten steps ahead of you...and everyone else...
