ladyofavalon77 | "I'd rather spend my time with a goddess..." (Reply)

He doesn't pick the easy ones...and for that I love him! The character is Max in "A Good Year" and though the film is very much French in theme and topic there are some good points. I'll divulge more later! Meanwhile...work is becoming unbearable. The push to disperse loans continues and we are just getting ZILCH! I must have called 50 or so people asking if they wanted to take a pre-approved offer and what did they say? “Sorry, we’re not interested.” “Thank you but no.” You can’t get blood from stone. I would take half my paycheck if we didn’t have to sell…it’s the worse part of my job.

Now for something less stressful. I had heard about this movie from one or two previews and finally got around to renting it. I liked some of the humor but with a French theme it was still a trifle odd. A career minded man goes down to his dead uncle’s vineyard to settle the estate and sell the property but he faces opposition from the local manager, the illegitimate daughter and by birth his cousin, and a feisty little café owner in one of the local towns. The repartee between Max and the café owner is worth seeing the movie alone but the other…shall we say odd?…bits will feel out of place unless you’re a connoisseur of French films! I liked Max’s Indian assistant who was both pretty and smart. Good cast, weird script.

I’ve given up on Jericho again. I have too many things to do. However, another episode of Lost was on and I must say I’m REALLY enjoying this show J

This was episode 3.14 (“Expose”) and it finally gave some background on Niki and Paulo. Evidently they’re a bunch of con artists with a stash of diamonds to worry about. The actress who plays Niki is top notch! She comes on to you with that sweet innocent face and soft smile and you think she’s on the side of good and then you see her with Paulo and you’re like “Whoa! This girl is downright devious!” I did like how they showed how romantic the two of them were before the search for the diamonds drove them apart. We were able to see Ben and Juliet before Jack and co met them. My estimation of Ben keeps rising…it appears that it was his plan all along to get Jack over to the Others’ camp so he could do the operation. Ben’s daughter warned about how manipulative her father could be.

I loved the shock at the end when we realized that Niki and Paulo were buried…alive! That darn paralyzing spider venom and the mistaken interpretation of her final words. Oh that bites! Though they kind of deserve it for what they did. I liked how Sun reacted to the revelation that Charlie and Sawyer kidnapped her, throwing the diamonds back at Sawyer since they’re now worthless. Hurley was funny as he played detective on his case. I must admit one thing…I’m not sure this one storyline was a big payoff for forcing the introduction of these two characters. I feel their roles should have been more important and if we hadn’t learned about them, I don’t think it would have been a big loss. *shrugs*

Well, I’ve come out with a final outline for the last nine chapters of “If I Should Lose You” and I plan to start writing tonight. All the depths, betrayals and awakenings to explore will make this a great series…I hope! I’ll be able to get everything I want into those last hours of Season Five that the writers cut out to concentrate on Jack. Then I’ll have to come up with a new series…or not. I have the 100_situations challenge to consider and I think I’ll stick with it. The back alley storyline REALLY has me inspired! The next chapter I bring you is from Martha’s point of view and just like in Season Five she decides to forgive Charles because he needs her to. I even used some of the same lines just a different context J

CHAPTER 13
I need you by my side, Martha...
It's my first priority to protect you, ma'am...
I don't know what to say, Marty...
I'm sorry, Mrs. Logan...I can't...
It's not that simple, Martha...it never is...
I don't want to lose you...
The voices whispered through her head as she struggled to make sense of it all. Where was she? What was going on? Had she survived the attack or was she somewhere between life and death? No...she had to be alive. The question was...did she wish to wake up...what if the reality she found was not what she wanted...what if her world had been fundamentally altered? Mentally shaking herself for having such ridiculous thoughts, Martha Logan tried to get a better understanding of her surroundings as her ears detected the sound of a heart monitor while her eyes blinked a few times to adjust to the harsh hospital lighting.
And for a moment she panicked. The faint smell of antiseptic, the nondescript white walls, the sparse furnishings…she was back in Vermont all over again. However, the dull ache in her side and the sight of her husband’s bowed head nearby reminded her that these fears were unwarranted. Unlike Vermont, he was right here by her side, patiently waiting for her to regain consciousness. This outward sign of his devotion warmed her heart and she found the anger and frustration of before slowly dissipating as she realized how much he cared for her.
“Charles…” she finally spoke, smiling at the relieved expression on his face when she said his name. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“Oh, thank God,” he whispered, reaching over to embrace her gently and waiting a few moments before speaking again in a voice that trembled ever so slightly. “Can ever you forgive me?”
And here it was...the moment she had been waiting for to finally tell him her true feelings…instead of just smiling and saying everything was all right. The perfect opening for her to tell him how frustrated and disappointed she had been with their marriage over the last few years...how hurt she was that he had chosen his career over her...how he had chosen almost everything over her. However, as she leaned her head against his strong shoulder and could feel his heartbeat quicken in trepidation at the response she would give, Martha discovered that all of the pain and anger of before had disappeared as she realized how much he had suffered in her absence.
If she had been through hell, he had been through ten times worse, not knowing if she was alive or dead, waiting for any word on her condition as he was plagued by guilt and self recrimination for the part he had played in bringing this on himself. All of that time alone at the warehouse she could only think of a million reasons for why she should leave him and now…now she couldn’t recall a single one. Yes, he had faults and, yes, he had taken her for granted, but he was only human and he was still her husband. He still loved her.

Despite everything that had happened that day...despite the pressures of political office...in spite of it all, his heart had always belonged to her and that was what mattered most. He needed her by his side as he lead the country through his crisis and she would not allow something as insignificant as a bruised ego to prevent her from helping him now. Whatever problems they had could be worked out later…when there would actually be time to discuss and think over the issues at hand.
“Do you really have to ask that question?” she finally replied, taking comfort in the security of his arms around her as she closed her eyes and enjoyed his undivided attention. For these few precious moments, it was just the two of them alone together, shut away from the cares of the world. This was all she ever wanted.
“If there had been any other way…”he finally ventured, his guilt still not relieved by her surprising answer.
“You would have found it,” she finished for him, trying to keep her tone reassuring and supportive. “You acted like the President of the United States.”
"Yes, I did," he told her softly, hesitating only briefly before speaking again. “…but you wanted me to be your husband first.”
"I can't deny that I didn't," she admitted truthfully, recalling the overwhelming sense of abandonment and despair when she realized he wasn’t going to recall the motorcade. Nevertheless, she almost wished she could take those words back when she realized the pain it caused him as he turned away from her in shame. No, it was more important that he hear the truth than a fabricated lie. However, what he didn’t realize was the presence of something deeper and more significant at work…something only she could tell him that would relieve any feelings of guilt he might have.
"I still love you, Charles...as much as I’ve always have," she finally revealed, feeling the burden he had been carrying lift off his shoulders as pulled away to see if she really meant those words. "And that will never change...as long as you’re honest with me. No matter how painful the truth is...I need to know that you won't lie to me. I need to know...that you trust me."
And for a moment, she couldn't read his face. It was as if a mask had dropped over his features, blocking out his thoughts and feelings while leaving her out in the cold. He was hiding something from her and she found her heart sinking at this sudden realization. What could be so important that he would keep it from her? What could be so terrible that he couldn't tell her?
"Martha...I haven't been completely honest with you. I’ve wanted to-" he began but was interrupted by the arrival of Mike Novick, ending any chance she had to find out the truth. For a few short moments, she debated the pros and cons of throwing her husband’s chief advisor out of the room and locking the door behind him. Was it too much to ask for a single moment alone together as husband and wife? Not a week or a day but a single moment? But of course it was…she was the wife of a politician after all.
"Mr. President...I need to see you immediately,” Novick announced unrepentantly in a low voice, barely acknowledging her presence in the room. “I apologize, Mrs. Logan, but this matter cannot wait."
"Of course it can't," she replied icily, ignoring her husband’s surprise at her suddenly chilly tone of voice. "It never can."
"Martha..." He tentatively tried to reign her in but was stopped by her hand on his arm.
"I know, Charles...I know. You have to go. And it‘s all right," she conceded at last, putting on her best smile as she reached up to touch his face with her hand. "There'll be time for us later. Right now the country needs you...more than I do."
"Can you forgive me?" he asked again, kissing her hand and searching her face for an answer.
"Don't I always?" she whispered back, trying her best to mask the disappointment she was feeling as she squeezed his hand. "Just remember I’ll be waiting here when you’re through.”
"I won’t forget,“ he promised, slowly letting go of her hand as he walked toward the door and paused a moment before looking back. “I love you.”
"I know," she told him, watching his departure with a heavy heart before whispering to herself. “But sometimes that‘s just not enough.”
Closing her eyes for a few minutes, Martha resigned herself to a long wait before her husband returned. In fact, if she had been asked to place a bet, she would have put all her chips on the possibility that he would not return to her side until tomorrow. Why was she always finding herself in a tug of war for her husband’s time and attention? These thoughts were unexpectedly interrupted by her door opening and a young male doctor entering the room with Evelyn Martin right behind him with an overnight bag in hand. No doubt someone had informed her personal assistant of the situation and had made sure she arrived with the necessary essentials.
“Hello, Mrs. Logan. My name is Dr. Keith Bennett,” the young man with warm brown eyes and a ready smile asked her as he checked her vitals from the machines next to her bed. “How are you feeling?”
“That‘s a dangerous question, Doctor…are you sure you want an answer?” she quipped as the doctor reached for her arm to take her pulse.
“Well, physically you are making a nice recovery. Pulse is strong and heartbeat regular. Considering all you’ve been through I’d be surprised if you weren’t a little…”
“Drained? Stressed out? Tired?” she finished for him, not feeling in the mood to play along with this game. “I think I just need some bed rest, Doctor. Preferably back at the Presidential Retreat.”
“And I would love to release you to familiar surroundings, Mrs. Logan, however…the loss of blood you suffered from the gunshot wound and the damage it inflicted as it penetrated your side still worries me,” he explained as he removed the blankets around her and carefully examined the large, awkward bandage around her right side. “Good. The stitches seem to be holding but you must not make any sudden movements or it could tear open again. So you will have to wait till tomorrow before I can safely send you home.”
“Even if I promise to behave?”
“Even with that promise, I’m afraid,” he replied with a smile, looking up from the notes he was making on his medical chart. “What you need right now is time to heal. If you do need me for anything, you can page me at any hour and I’ll be right here.”
“Any hour?” she asked him, a coy smile playing across her mouth.
“Any hour. If you need me, I’ll be here,” he promised before returning her smile with his own. “Of course I would appreciate it if you took normal sleeping hours into account before placing that call. I have a wife and a new baby at home who require my attention as well.”
“You’re a busy man,” she replied, happy to know he was a family man. “I promise to only call when necessary.”
“I’ll hold you to it,” he told her good naturedly, making his way to the door.
“And Doctor?”
“Yes?” he asked, turning around when she addressed him.
“Thank you. I’m sure I wouldn’t have survived the operation without your assistance and dedication. I know it’s your job to save lives everyday but thank you for saving mine.”
“It was an honor, Mrs. Logan. Have a good evening,” he told her humbly before exiting the room and leaving her alone with Evelyn to wait on her hand and foot.
“I tried to bring everything I could think of from your room. Change of clothes, toiletries, even some books. But if there’s anything missing…”
“I’m sure I’ll do fine,” she assured her assistant, pleased to see the look of relief on the young woman’s face. “Though I would like a glass of water if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Of course, Mrs. Logan.” And as she walked over to the pitcher of water near the doorway, Martha noticed that her normally levelheaded assistant was slightly more one edge than usual. In fact, her hand slightly trembled as she poured the glass of water and Martha could detect her fear as she handed the glass to her.
“Evelyn, are you sure you’re all right?” she asked with concern, taking a sip of the water while keeping an eye on the nervous young woman.
“I’m fine, Mrs. Logan. It’s just…it’s just a little chilly in this hospital room. I should have brought a coat,” she attempted lamely, trying to smile but failing miserably.
“If there’s something I could do…”
“No…this is something I need to work out on my own. It’s just been a very trying day and…I think the stress is getting to me,” she tried again but Martha was still not sure it was the truth as she thought she saw a glimpse of fear in Evelyn’s very expressive eyes.
“This day has been a test of endurance for all of us. If you really need to go home early, I’m sure I would be fine with the Secret Service.”
“No, it’s ok, Mrs. Logan. I’ll be going home in an hour and in case you need me I’ll be here. It’s really not that important…not after everything you‘ve been through.”
“Ok, Evelyn…if you say so,” Martha replied, still not sure of what was bothering her assistant. “There is one thing you could do for me.”
“What do you need?”
“I was wondering if Agent Pierce was still here. I know he probably had to make a report about what happened but I was hoping I could talk to him a moment before he left…if he hasn’t left already.”
“Mrs. Logan…he has never left the hospital since your arrival. I think one of the other agents brought him a change of clothes but I distinctly heard him say that he would stay on your detail till they moved you to the Presidential Retreat. In fact, he should be right outside.”
“He never left?” she repeated softly, her mouth automatically forming a smile as she found pleasure in this revelation of how concerned he had been for her safety. “Even after this horrific day’s events, he still thinks of me first…”
“Mrs. Logan?” her assistant queried, the confusion in her voice breaking Martha out of her thoughts of Aaron Pierce.
“I’m sorry, Evelyn,” she immediately replied, shaking her head to clear it of thoughts she should not have been thinking in the first place. Aaron Pierce was just doing his duty…that was all. “If you could find Aaron and tell him I want to see him, I would be most grateful.”
“Of course, ma’am. I’ll be back in a moment.”
And as the door closed behind her assistant, Martha couldn’t help but think of the contrast between the husband who had left her alone because of his job and the Secret Service agent who had been determined to stay by her side in spite of his job.